I am a doula because I believe every woman should have the birth that she desires. The transition into motherhood is one of the most profound, life-changing events a woman can have. 1 year, 10 years, even 50 years later women do not forget their birth experiences. Ask your grandmas - even after all this time they could probably tell you, in full detail, about the births of their children.

It's simple. Women and their partners deserve to look back on the birth of their child and, whether or not it went as planned, be able to say, "That was incredible!"

On February 16, 2003 I gave birth to the most amazing and beautiful baby in the world, as does every mother. While pregnant I attended childbirth class, read five books on pregnancy and childbirth, and two books on breastfeeding. I wanted the least amount of medical intervention - no drugs, no IV, and no bottles for my baby. I was sure I knew EVERYTHING there was to know about having a baby and although I didn't expect a perfect, uneventful birth, I expected to be prepared for anything - I would not fail!

Well, what is failure really? My goal was to have a baby - I succeeded. However, as soon as we checked in, an IV was administered. Why? Hospital policy. No way around it, they (being the doctors and nurses) say. Hooked up to an IV, I never left the bed. I didn't even stand up once. About 30 hours into my labor, including an hour of completely ineffective pushing, I was faced with the choice - epidural or c-section. It really was no choice at all but by this time I was exhausted, distraught, confused and my doctor felt that if I didn't have some kind of pain relief I would never get my baby out. I conceded, they had won.

And I carried this resentment around for quite a while. The hospital had ruined my childbirth experience. It really wasn't until I started reading about doulas and working on my certification that I started to see things differently. Looking back, there were quite a few things about my birth experience that, if changed, would have greatly affected the outcome. A couple of them are:

My attitude - I went in there thinking it was me vs. the hospital staff. I felt that when they offered me medication they did this to ruin my plans. Unrealistic, I know, but it was how I felt. The truth is, that no nurse or doctor goes into their job thinking, "How can I make this difficult for my patient?" They are there to help you, they became doctors and nurses because they want to help and they want this to be a great experience as much as you do. They are a vital and integral part of the childbirth team.

A Doula - I didn't have a doula, and quite honestly I couldn't have. We were stationed in Italy, and it wasn't an option for us out there, at least that we knew of. However, if I had a doula, I know she would have gotten me up out of that bed and had me standing or walking with my IV to help lower the baby. She would have been there to provide support and gentle direction for my husband who, even though he did his best, didn't have much to work with (I love you, honey). She would have informed us about different positions for pushing which probably would have been more effective than laying flat on my back like I was. And most importantly, she would have never left my side. I begged and pleaded with one nurse to stay with me, I truly needed her there. But she couldn't, she had other patients to take care of and had to leave quite often. That was very hard on me.

And this is why I do what I do, to be that kind of support for women and their birth partners. And the bonus for me - after all my training, listening, and a lot of soul searching, I too can look back on my first childbirth experience, and even though it didn't go as planned say, "That was incredible."